3 Relational Strategies for Decreasing Problem Behaviors

“The next thing I knew, he was trying to kick and bite me.”  It happened so suddenly and without notice that it caught Mary totally offguard.  “I didn’t know exactly what to do but I knew that I needed to keep everyone safe,” she added.  “It felt like the longest 15-minutes I’ve ever experienced in special needs ministry!”

It’s not uncommon for scenarios like this to play themselves out on any given Sunday in faith communities who provide a special needs ministry.  Sometimes children with special needs will display very challenging behaviors.  The moments during those behaviors could be described as “stressful” and “tense” for everyone involved.  If you are a special needs ministry volunteer or a parent to a acting-out child with special needs then I suspect that you could add a few more words to this list.

The problem with most approaches to minimizing challenging behaviors in special needs ministry is that the recommended solutions are often isolated strategies that only seek to “manage” behaviors.  Some examples of isolated strategies that are commonly used are token systems, time-out chair/area, positive reinforcement, loss of privileges, or a safe spot, to name a few.  The intent for many of these strategies is focused on producing:

  • Compliance
  • Control
  • Obedience

As a nationally certified senior-level Crisis Prevention Instructor, it’s been my observation that rarely is any attention given to how these isolated strategies fit into a larger systematic, structured process for positively supporting kids with challenging behaviors.  In addition, rarely is any attention given to the relational strategies that can constructively de-escalate crisis behaviors.  Three examples of relational strategies are:

  • Paraverbal communiation
  • Social exchange theory
  • Kinesics

When used properly, these relational strategies help to establish safe boundaries, strengthen relationships, and create a climate of peace.  I’d like share with you how an understanding of some of these relational strategies, embedded within a structured process, can help you to de-escalate challenging behaviors without sacrificing relationships.  If you’re interested in learning some effective relational strategies for minimizing crisis behaviors and reducing the potential for physically acting-out then here’s one of our Special Friends Ministry on-demand training videos:

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Visual Schedules: A Positive Support Strategy For Kids

Children with autism frequently have trouble paying attention to, adapting to, and understanding auditory input. They also tend to have strengths in rote memory and the ability to understand visual information. Visual schedules are a Positive Support Strategy that takes advantage of these strengths by efficiently communicating information in a way that allows children to better predict and plan within the special needs ministry classroom!

What is a Visual Schedule?

A visual schedule is a set of pictures that communicates a series of activities or the steps of a specific activity. Visual schedules are meant to help children with special needs understand and manage the daily events in their lives. Visual schedules may be created using photographs, pictures, written words, or physical objects. Ideally, they communicate clear expectations for the child and decrease the need for constant adult involvement in the activity. Most visual schedules are introduced with adult guidance that gradually decreases with time. They can be used at church, at school, and at home.

What’s it like?

Schedules may be placed into notebooks or on a schedule board, or also presented with the aid of or on computers.

When designing a visual schedule, consider the following questions:

  • Will the child understand or recognize the pictures or words?
  • Is the activity represented by the visual schedule obvious to the child?
  • Can the schedule be made clearer by the use of words, more images, or objects?
  • Does the child know and have available the tools required to successfully complete the activity?

 Does it work?

Many educational studies have demonstrated that visual schedules are effective in helping developmentally disabled, and specifically, children with autism and ADHD.  These studies show visual schedules to be effective in helping children to gain independence and increase on-task behavior at church, school, home, and in community settings. In younger children, this can translate into improved play skills, and a decrease in disruptive and aggressive behavior. Specifically, use of visual schedules has been associated with a decrease in disruptive behavior, aggression, tantrums, and property destruction.

In older children, use of visual schedules can enhance learning and improve a child’s ability to perform the skills required for daily living. Visual schedules have also been effectively used to improve physical activity in a physical education setting. With time, some children are able to independently use visual schedules to achieve on-task behavior and self-management without supervision.

The most effective way to use visual schedules is to have them readily available and used consistently. Most children seem to enjoy the use of schedules and appear to be excited to see what will be coming next. This enthusiasm has been shown to translate into increased peer to peer interactions.

Watch and Learn!

Here’s a short but informative tutorial on Visual Schedules:

Elevate Community: Everything Walks The Talk

One of our core values at First Baptist Orlando is authentic biblical community and our special needs ministry doesn’t just want to Elevate Community well…we want to do it with excellence!  Why? Because as Reggie Joiner put it:

  • “One of the greatest gifts the church can give its families is a consistent network of leaders and friends who are there to help them win” (pg. 186).

Besides Think Orange, another book that our ministry is using to discuss our initial steps to Elevate Community is: Inside The Magic Kingdom by Tom Connellan.  This book really has me psyched because it’s about the principles that drive the culture and phenomenal success of Disney in the area of customer relationships.  Living in Orlando, it’s been easy to spend some time at all of the Disney theme parks.  Every time I’m there, I am always impressed with Disney’s quality, excellence, customer service and overall culture.

The four key principles from Inside The Magic Kingdom that our ministry will focus on in the process of our initial steps towards Elevating Community, and the ones that I’ll blog about, are:

These four key principles can be applied to special needs ministry and provide powerful strategies that will help special needs staff and team members become more focused on building relationships that in turn will elevate community.

Everything Walks The Talk

Connellan points out that Disney firmly believes that every thing at Disney communicates something to the guest.  It’s a concept they call “Everything Walks The Talk.”  Disney believes that every “thing”  should be congruent with the Disney philosophy because it can positively influence a guest’s experience.  From the way employees are dressed, to the cleanliness of the park, to the type of music that is played throughout the Magic Kingdom.  All of these things enhance the guest’s experience.  Connellan says,

“Everything walking the talk does effect the guest’s experience, but in ways he or she is frequently not aware of.  Employees are taught the value of this concept, but to the guest, it’s invisible.”

So if every “thing” communicates something then the question is, “What does it communicate?”  And does it communicate what you want it to?  I think this concept has some great application as we strive to Elevate Community in our special needs ministry.  If we want to connect our kids with special needs to a caring team member then perhaps we need to take a closer look at the ‘things” in our special needs classroom.

What are the things that we have in our special needs classroom that communicates the idea of building relationships and connecting adults to kids?  If our philosophy is to Elevate Community, what “things” am I giving my volunteers to be able to do this? 

Example, in my home I use a puzzle as a diversion for my son.  When I need to be able to focus my attention on something else other than my son with autism, I give him a puzzle.  As he sits down to complete the puzzle that buys me time to walk away and take care of paying bills, wash the car, fix a cabinet, or one of a dozen other things that need to be accomplished.

However, in our special needs classroom a puzzle can be the “thing” that allows a volunteer to sit down with a child and build a relationship.  Puzzles are a great “thing” that two people can do together and in the process develop a bond.

I believe that it’s important to show our volunteers that the “things” that we put in their hands in the classroom are things that can be used to connect with our kiddos.  The “things” that we make available in the classroom are the types of things that are congruent with building relationships and strengthening connections.

I didn’t put the two Thomas the Train Wooden  Railway Tables in our room so that our kids could spend time alone at the table playing trains.  They are there so that our volunteers can sit down with a child, interact with them, and have fun together!  The Thomas the Train Wooden Railway Table is some”thing” that can be used to build and strengthen relationships because it provides an opportunity for an adult volunteer and a child with special needs to do something together.

The Play-Doh Animal Duffel Bag Kit isn’t just there in our room for the kids to play with alone.  It’s for the adults to play with too!  Both adult and child can physically and/or verbally interact together with the Play-Doh Animal Duffel Bag Kit.  They can use the 11 tools to make a giraffe, a monkey, a dolphin or other animal shapes in green, purple, orange or yellow – or a combination of all four!

Other examples of “things” in your room that support Everything Walks The Talk would be note cards.  By making note cards available for your volunteers you are enabling them to write a few lines of encouragement to a child, stick the note in an envelope, and mail it so that the child receives it later in the week.  Note cards are a great way Elevate Community but your volunteers need to know why these “things” are in the room.

If your desire is to Elevate Community then I would encourage you to assess your classroom environment from the perspective of: Everything Walks The Talk.  You may be discover that there are some “things” in your room that support developing relationships and some “things” in your room that do not!

Everything Walks The Talk.  This is an important concept to remember and use proactively when you are striving to Elevate Community in your ministry.

If you’d like to follow the rest of this blog series then “subscribe” to our blog or click “like” on our Special Friends Ministry facebook page.

Elevate Community: What Would You Like Me To Say?

A couple of months ago I celebrated my birthday.  That meant a bunch of emails and text messages from family and friends, birthday cards arriving in the mail, as well as a full Facebook wall of “happy birthday” messages from close and even not-so-close acquaintances.  Birthdays are supposed to be a big deal!

Yet, while a lot of companies out there know about my birthday, only one took the time to send a free drink postcard in the mail to celebrate my birthday.  My free Venti Cappuccino was delicious.  Thank you Starbucks for making me feel special!  By the way, I’d also like to share with you that this perk is reserved only for people who register on the My Starbucks Rewards website.  Check it out!

I actually learned a valuable lesson from Starbucks.  If you want someone to feel special, do something special for them.  If you’d like that person to tell others about you, do something special for them that’s worth repeating to others.   Both will create customer satisfaction and strengthen relationships with the customer.  According to customer service expert Dennis Snow, the process of strengthening customer relationships is a very simple process and it starts with answering two simple questions.

I’d like to take a look at these two questions and discuss how they might apply to strengthening relationships and developing community within a special needs ministry.  Even as I’m blogging this article, our Special Friends Development Team is brainstorming the answers to these two questions as it applies to our families with kids with special needs at First Baptist Orlando.

Snow’s first question:  “What do you want customers to say about your company?”  Rephrased, the question we’re asking is,

“What are the two comments that we want our parents to say about our special needs ministry?”  

In order to answer this questions our Team is attempting to put ourselves into the shoes of our parents.  We want to identify two things a parent would say that would be a measurable indicator that our ministry is moving in the right direction when it comes to strengthening relationships and developing community.  Here are two parent-comments that we’ve identified:

  • “The Special Friends Ministry makes my family feel welcomed.”
  • “The Special Friends Ministry cares about how we are doing.”

One you have defined the two things that you’d like your parents to say, it then becomes fairly easy to define the behaviors that will cause parents to say those things.  That’s fairly simple, isn’t it.  Determine what you want people to say about your ministry because then you can identify the specific behaviors that produce the comments!

That leads us to the second question posed by Snow, “What employee behaviors would lead customers to say those things?”  Rephrased, the question our Development Team is asking is,

“What are the volunteer behaviors that would lead parents to say those comments we identified?”

So for example, if we want a parent to say, “They made my family feel welcomed” then we need to identify staff/volunteer behaviors such as:  warmly greeting a parent as soon as they walk into our room with a hug or a handshake, letting them know that “It’s so good to see you here today!”  Even if you’re with another parent, at least give me a signal that you know they are there.   At a minimum, eye contact and a smile is all it takes.  Let them know when they enter your room that they are more important than your paperwork or more important than chatting with another volunteer.

Remember, once you’ve identified what you want parents to say about your ministry then it becomes more clear what the behaviors need to be that will causes parents to say those things.  This is a simple yet effective two-step process that can help to Elevate Community.

For example, if you want a parent to say, “They care about how we are doing” then engaging in behaviors like calling a parent mid-week and asking how things are going would be important.  Or before a parent picks up their child, perhaps asking them if there are any prayer requests they’d like to share.  An email, follow-up call, or a handwritten note that you can mail communicates that you’re thinking about them other than just on Sundays.

  • “The Special Friends Ministry makes my family feel welcomed.”
  • “The Special Friends Ministry cares about how we are doing.”

I know that if parents say these two things about our special needs ministry, it will be an indicator that we are successfully building stronger relationships and creating community.  Our ministry will be walking the talk.  And it started by asking two simple questions:

  • “What are the two comments that we want our parents to say about our special needs ministry?”  
  • “What are the volunteer behaviors that would lead parents to say those comments we identified?”

If you’d like to follow the other posts related to the topic of Elevate Community make sure that you “subscribe” to our blog or “like” us on our Facebook page!

Who Did God Create My Child To Be?

I just finished reading Michelle Anthony’s book Spiritual Parenting and highly recommend it for parents of kids with special needs.  At it’s core, Spiritual Parenting is not a book on ”how-to parenting.”  It is a book about how to view your role as a spiritually minded parent.  Essentially, it asks the question, `What is my end goal in raising  the children God has entrusted to me, and then how will I parent them with that end in mind?”

Her book reminds me that as I seek to live out the life I was created to live in Christ as a parent of children on the autism spectrum, I need to genuinely ask the primary question that she puts forth:

“Who did God create my child to be?”

This is a challenging question for me because two of my boys are on the severe end of the autism spectrum.  Both of them lack so many life-skills.  I can, and have, become so focused at home on their cognitive, social, and communication deficits that I have neglected their spiritual identity.  It’s not intentional, it’s just that there seems to be so many critical skills to work on that the spiritual side of their lives gets crowded out.

And yet the question “Who did God create my child to be?” helps me to begin to understand God’s heart for me as a parent of boys with special needs.  When I ask myself, “Is God more concerned about what I can do or who I become?” the answer is obvious:  who I become.  If I truly believe that, then I have to come to the realization that the same answer also holds true for my boys with autism.

Each of us is created in His image.  We bear His DNA.  During this season of my life of being a parent, don’t I untimately want my children to look like Jesus?  Yes and that is a much higher and eternal calling as a parent than trying to sink all of my time and energy into life-skills.  Again, let me say that focusing on developing life-skills IS important.  But in the bigger picture I believe that

It’s not what my boys can do, but who they will become that truly matters to God.

God is in the process of writing a larger story line.  One that includes me…and you.  It also includes our children no matter the label that might have been given them.  Each of us has a part to play in His story and that part depends more on who are are–in Christ–than it does the talents and skills that we develop over time. 

For this reason I’m going to start spending more time at home focusing on the faith development of my children.  Will it be easy.  No.  Will it require that I sacrifice working on cognitive, social, or functional life-skills with them.  Yes.  Will it be worth it?  Most definitely!

If you’d like to join me on this journey I’d appreciate it.  I need all of the encouragement that I can get…and I’d be happy to be a source of encouragement for you too as you walk the path that God has set before you.

Please click “subscribe” or “like” the Special Friends Ministry facebook page to be notified when the next post is published.  Michael Woods

Elevate Community: Walk The Talk

At Disney, everyone walks the talk.  What this means at Disney is that every employee on the Disney team buys into the Disney customer-service culture, buys into the Disney customer-oriented mission, and buys into the Disney customer-focused culture.  At Disney, if you were to ask them how many custodians they have the answer is likely to be “4500.”  Why?  Because that’s the number of staff that they have at Disney and EVERYBODY that works at Disney is responsible for the cleanliness of the park, not just those that wear a custodian uniform!

We have 47 volunteers in our special needs ministry, so when it comes to implementing the Orange Essential of Elevate Community, everybody must buy into the vision of building relationships.  It doesn’t matter whether the individual is on staff, a volunteer, or a Student Ministry helper.  EVERYBODY is responsible for elevating community through building relationships with parents and children…and I would also add between each other.

Every time a parent comes into contact with someone from your special needs ministry, you have an opportunity to build a relationship.  You have an opportunity to elevate community.  Again, it doesn’t matter whether that person is the leader, volunteer, or one of your Student Ministry helpers.  Capitalize on that opportunity and you build community.  Waste it and you don’t.  It’s as simple as that.

There’s no better way to instill a commitment to building relationships than for you, the leader, to model it yourself…to lead by example.  You have to walk the talk.  Walking the talk is a skill that has been lost by many.  Many people and organizations seem to have forgotten this simple concept.  So instead, we live in a daily environment of broken promises and unfulfilled statements.

When it comes to discussions about leadership, much is said about example. What role does it really play? Simply this: Leadership is 100% example, period! Everything we learn about leadership comes from watching leaders in action. Words are far less important. In fact, we really don’t care much about what leaders say if their words don’t match their actions.

Perhaps this is why Jesus always led by example in everything that he asked his disciples to do. Whatever he wanted them to do; he always showed them how to do it first. He shows us that the best way to lead is by example.  Therefore, before you expect your special needs ministry to adhere to a standard, ensure that you’re keeping it yourself first.  If you want to Elevate Community then the initial step would be to do for your volunteers what you would like to see them do for your parents and each other. 

Two Tips On How to Walk Your Talk

The most important tip comes first. If you do this first action well, the rest will follow more naturally. If the ideas you are promoting, such as Elevate Community, are congruent with your core beliefs and values, then your actions will come easily, too. So, start with a deep understanding of “why” you want to build relationships and create community. 

One of our core values in our church is in developing authentic biblical community.  That includes ALL people because ALL people matter to God.  For our special needs ministry, this biblical truth answers the “Why?” question behind our desire to build relationships and create community.

The second tip is to model the behavior you want to see from others. When I was an officer in the U.S. Marines, our leadership motto was Ductus Examplo, which is Latin for “Lead by Example.”  There is nothing more powerful for your marines, or in ministry your volunteers, than observing you engage in the actions or behaviors that you are requesting from them.  As the apostle Paul said, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1Cor.11:1 NIV).

As the Director of our Special Friends Ministry, I’ve had to really reflect on a variety of ways to model building relationships and creating community with our volunteers and parents.  One of my challenges is that I typically only see volunteers and parents on Sundays.  To further complicate matters, not all of our volunteers are serving in our ministry every Sunday.  Many serve two times a month so that reduces the number of times that I physically see them.  In addition not all of our parents make it to church with their kids every Sunday.  For this reason, I do not come into regular face-to-face contact with all of our parents on a weekly basis.

If you are not able to come into physical contact with your volunteers and parents on a regular basis, how do you walk the talk or model relationship building?  How to do you Elevate Community when consistent physical proximity does not occur?  Relational experts agree that close physical proximity is an important element when it comes to building relationships.  So what are some strategies that you can implement when close physical proximity is not always possible?  Here are a few of the things that I’ve been doing:

On Sundays when parents and volunteers are present I never miss an opportunity to personally greet them when they arrive and thank them when they leave.  This can be challenging when people are quickly coming and going to get to where they need to be next!  However, I make it a point to plant myself by the door (the only entrance and exit in the room) so that both parents and volunteers have to walk by me coming and going!

I try to arrange to have lunch individually with volunteers and parents to the degree that their schedules allow.

Sunday afternoon/evening, I send thank-you text messages to both parents and volunteers that were present that Sunday.

Monday of each week, using YouLead, I send out topical emails to both my volunteer email list and my parent  email list.

I’ve divided our parents into 4 separate smaller groups.  Then, I’ve programmed my iPhone to remind me each week to make phone calls to one specific group of parents. 

I’ve divided up our volunteer team members into 4 smaller groups and have programmed my iPhone to remind me each week to make phone calls to one specific group of volunteers.

On Facebook I’ve friended all the parents and volunteers.  I’ve created a separate Facebook list for each.  Everyday I check each list for any new comments that parents or volunteers post.  If appropriate, I “like” and/or comment on each post.

Recently I’ve been thinking about writing personal notes to volunteers and parents.  One handwritten note to a volunteer and one to a parent.  One per week and then stick the notes in the mailbox. 

We’re always interested in other great ideas so please feel free to add to our list!

If you’d like to follow our special needs ministry as we strive to implement solid principles on developing community then “subcribe” to our blog or click “like” on our Facebook page in order to be notified when new posts are published!

Elevate Community: Who’s Your Competition?

Elevate Community for me, is about building relationships.  As I mentioned in a previous post, I believe that if there’s one thing that we can do as a special needs ministry that our culture cannot compete with, it’s building relationships in the context of authentic community.  One of our core values at First Baptist Orlando is developing authentic biblical community and our special needs ministry doesn’t just want to do this well…we want to do it with excellence!

The first step in determining what changes need to be made in order to Elevate Community in your ministry is to determine your ministry’s culture.  Every special needs ministry has a culture!  How do you determine yours?  Thru observation.  Everything that you observe your special needs staff and volunteers do, and say, is a reflection of the culture of your ministry.

If you want your kiddos and their parents that you serve in your special needs ministry to engage in relationships and build community it has to start with your volunteers.  The truth is, however, that if you want your volunteers to engage in relationships and build community, it has to start with you.  It always starts with the leader.  The leaders of the special needs ministry needs to be relationship-focused first before expecting others to follow suit.

Relationships are everything to your ministry.  And one of the first principles in creating stronger relationships identified by Tom Connellan in Inside The Magic Kingdom is:

“The competition is anyone the customer compares you with.” 

How does this apply to special needs ministry?  Consider it this way, if there is anyone else out there who does a better job at building relationships than your ministry, no matter who they are,  your ministry suffers by comparison!  Who might be some examples of competition for a special needs ministry when it comes to building relationships with your kids and their parents?  Here are a few:

  • Schools.
  • Service agencies.
  • Specialized therapists.
  • Doctor/dentist staffs.
  • YMCA.
  • Babysitters.
  • Respite providers.

What does this mean for your ministry?  It means that parents and kids will consciously or unconsciously compare their interpersonal interactions and relationships that they have with everyone else…to the people in your special needs ministry!  And if they have more satisfying relationships with others, your ministry will suffer by comparison.

Recall a situation where you were very impressed with the level of personal service you received.  How did it raise your expectation of other businesses?  Why did it raise your expectation of other businesses?  Because it’s human nature to compare one thing to another.  Comparison is often the way we rate things as “better than” or “worse than.”  Comparison helps us to make “sense” of the world and it’s important to remember that this is also true when it comes to relationships!

“The competition is anyone the customer compares you with.” 

As far as special needs staff and volunteers are concerned, you’ve got to be really good at engaging the kids and their parents.  It means, as Seth Godin would say,

“You have to be remarkable. You’re either average or you stand out. What you do is either invisible to others or it’s remarkable.  Remarkable doesn’t mean remarkable to you. It means remarkable to the other person.”

In other words, people should REMEMBER what you do and WANT more of it.

What are some tangible things that you need to do relationally to be remarkable in your quest to Elevate Community in your special needs ministry?  Here’s a list of 6 ideas that our special needs ministry brainstormed.  If you think of more, please feel free to comment and add to our list!

“Build each other up” (1Thess.5:11):  stay in touch with your kids and their parents on a weekly basis during the weekdays via phone call and/or email.  Let them know that you are thinking about them other than just on Sundays.

“Be hospitable to one another” (1Peter4:9):  welcome parents and their kids as soon as they enter your classroom and let them know how glad you are to see them.  For kids, kneel down and get at eye level with them!

“Encourage one another” (1Thess.5:11):  look for at least one positive thing that a child does during Sunday School and make sure to let him know AND his parents know what it was.

“Pray for one another” (James 5:16): provide parents with a prayer request card that they can fill out and give you to you before they leave so that your ministry can pray specifically for them.

“Serve one another” (Gal. 5:13):  call your parents and ask them what you can do to help make their transition to and from church less stressful.

“Accept one another” (Ro.15:7): avoid judgmental attitudes towards parents when they show up late for church and/or inconsistently to church.

If you’d like to be notified of the next post in this series, please make sure that you “subscribe” to our blog or click “like” on our Facebook page!

Michael Woods

Elevating Community In Special Needs Ministry

Our Special Friends Ministry at First Baptist Orlando is beginning a season of transition.  Our Development Team is currently learning and discussing how to apply the Think Orange approach to how we “do” special needs ministry.  Our Development Team is comprised of parents of children with special needs, volunteers from our special needs ministry, and staff.  I believe that if we are going to really think about how to make the changes that will create a more effective special needs ministry, our approach needs to incorporate representatives from all the people who will be affected by the changes.  At this point in time, based on the ages or functional level of our kids with special needs, we are not able to incorporate any of them into our Team.

There are five Orange essentials and the first one that our ministry is tackling is Elevate Community.  Elevate Community is essentially about building relationships.  Relationships are the connections people have with each other. Every human being has a deep desire to be connected with others.  Everyone has a need to be believed in by others and to belong to a group of people that authentically care about them.

However, a child with a developmental disability such as autism may make it challenging for families to engage in ordinary activities, from Thanksgiving with the grandparents to soccer in the community.  What’s more, parents may feel that their friends and family are uncomfortable with their child, critical of their parenting, or deliberately clueless about what it means to raise a child with a developmental challenge.  Feelings of isolation from others can be the result.

Our Development Team is starting with Elevating Community because I believe that if there’s one thing that we can do as a ministry, as a church, that our culture cannot compete with, it’s building relationships in the context of authentic community.  One of our core values at First Baptist Orlando is authentic biblical community and our special needs ministry doesn’t just want to Elevate Community well…we want to do it with excellence!  Why? Because as Reggie Joiner put it:

“One of the greatest gifts the church can give its families is a consistent network of leaders and friends who are there to help them win” (pg. 186).

Another book that we’re using to discuss how our initial steps to build relationships is: Inside The Magic Kingdom by Tom Connellan.  I love to read and read a lot, and this book really has me psyched because it’s about the principles that drive the culture and phenomenal success of Disney in the area of customer relationships.  Living in Orlando, it’s been easy to spend some time at all of the Disney theme parks.  Every time I’m there, I am always impressed with Disney’s quality, excellence, customer service and overall culture.

The four key principles from Inside The Magic Kingdom that we’ll focus on in the process of our initial steps towards Elevating Community, and the ones that I’ll blog about, are:

  • The competition is anyone the customer compares you with.
  • Everyone walks the talk.
  • Everything walks the talk.
  • Reward, recognize, and celebrate.

These four key principles can be applied to special needs ministry and provide powerful strategies that will help special needs staff and team members become more focused on building relationships that in turn will elevate community.

If you’re interested in following along and discovering what we’re learning then “subscribe” to the blog or click “Like” on our Facebook page.  You’ll be glad that you did!

Love One Child, Strengthen One Family

Families should not have to meet the challenges of raising a child with a disability without the love, care, and support of their congregation. At First Baptist Orlando, volunteers can serve once a month in our Buddy Break ministry as a way to ensure that our families who have a child with special needs, and families in our community, feel welcomed and supported in our congregation. All’s it takes is love!

The kind of God-love that transforms hearts doesn’t work en masse; it is best applied one individual at a time. And last Saturday our Special Friends Ministry, through a program called Buddy Break, created an opportunity to love one child at a time!

Imagine having the opportunity to step up and show some love to a child with special needs while playing fun games, learning great bible stories, listening to music, and more while giving their parents a much needed break! It’s an awesome opportunity to minister to a family in need and our great group of volunteers makes it possible every month!

I’d like to give a big shout-out to the following team members for making our last Buddy Break such a success:

  • Sarah Hemminger
  • Rick Boggs
  • Janice Boggs
  • Cynthia Canar
  • Jon Woods
  • Holly McElroy
  • Lori Lotz
  • Jacqueline Amos
  • Linda Woods

God is using people who have a passion to serve in respite programs like Buddy Break to be a catalyst for opening faith communities to true hospitality. We have a wonderful group of volunteers here at First Baptist Orlando who have been an essential part of making our Buddy Break ministry a success by sharing their time and the love of Christ! If you’d like to be Buddy to a child with special needs and make a difference in the lives of families please feel free to email me at michaelwoods@firstorlando.com

Under A Bowl Or On A Stand?

Take a minute and think back to your school days. I want you to think back to kindergarten. You are five years old, and it’s your turn for show and tell. You remember that, don’t you, those good old days of show and tell? You might even remember what you brought in. I don’t, but I do remember being excited when it was my turn.

“He said to them, ‘Do you bring in a lamp to put it under a bowl or bed?  Instead, don’t you put it on the stand?” (Mark 4:21 NIV).

These words from Jesus reminds me a little bit of show and tell.  In show and tell, your teacher asked you to bring in something that your classmates didn’t know about, something that was important to you, something that had meaning, and you shared it with them.

In the same way,

God calls me as a parent of children on the autism spectrum to do some “show and tell.”

As Christian father I have something in my life that is important to me.  It has meaning and at an early age my children don’t know what it is!  I am talking about my faith, of course, and I am especially talking about my relationship with Jesus.  All parents begin parenting with children who do not know Christ or His love for them, and as parents it’s our responsibility to share our faith with them.  Show and tell.  That is a big part of what Jesus is talking about in Mark 4:21.

Think about a lamp.  It’s purpose?  A lamp is positioned strategically to do one thing: cast its light on a specific area.  My lampstand in my living room is designed to cast light towards the sofa to make it easier for me to read.  The lamp in my bedroom cast its light toward the pictures of my family making them easier to view.

As a parent of children with special needs, God has strategically placed me as a “lamp” in my home.  To do what?  To highlight God’s love, His goodness, and reveal His Son to our boys.  If I want my boys to have a faith that influences the way they live their lives, then in my home I need to be a “lamp.”  And there is good reason for doing so!  In his book, Building Faith At Home, Mark Holmen summarizes the recent research on primary factor that influences children in their faith:

  • “Why is reestablishing the home as the main place for faith development so important?  The main reasons is the influence of Mom and Dad–who are two to three times more influential than any church program” (p. 25).

I’ve discovered over the years that life with children with special needs can be challenging.  I’ll admit that there have been times when I’ve been more like a lamp “under a bowl or bed” rather than one “on the stand.”  But that’s about to change because I’ve made a decision this month to become more intentional about shining His light in my home!  As I confessed yesterday, I don’t want to be an average parent when it comes to the sharing and teaching of faith in my home.

If you’d like to join me in this decision then I’d encourage you to subscribe to this blog or “like” the Special Friends Ministry facebook page.  That’s where I’ll be blogging about my role as a parent in the development of faith in my children on the autism spectrum.  Michael Woods